From the Road to the Classroom, and All the Potholes Along the Way

Eriq Gasse
EMRA Medical Student Council Osteopathic Coordinator, 2026
OMS3, Chicago College of Osteopathic Medicine

Cold Chicago wind bit my ears and tears welled in my eyes as I walked back toward the science building. I was excited to head home and start studying for a gauntlet of exams, but I realized I was missing the bracelet my wife bought me for Christmas. I couldn’t risk losing it. So, I retraced my steps to the anatomy locker rooms where I had spent most of that day, rifling through my locker for that small silver chain. Not seeing it, I bent down to check under a bench.

At that moment, I was back.

Back in that kitchen, wearing my work boots and tactical pants. Bending over a man splayed out on the floor with blood pouring from his mouth and pooling on the tiles. I was reaching into my jump bag for equipment to clear his airway while my partner started chest compressions. Pictures of grandchildren decorated the fridge while old beer bottles littered the floor, pulling my gaze toward the living room where I had coded this man’s wife just a week before.

And then he was gone, and I stood alone in the locker room holding the bracelet.

This was the first time I had a flashback to my time on the road. It was jarring. As an EMT, I never had a similar moment. I was always able to go home after my shifts and think about work without consequence. But since medical school started, I found myself thinking about my old patients more often – sometimes more emotional than usual, often thinking about how what I saw on the ambulance wasn’t normal. EMS providers know this, but don’t give it too much thought. Thinking about it exposes wounds that might not heal.

My experience is not unique. Many EMS personnel experience culture shock when leaving the field. My path switched from the ambulance, where my coworkers had minimal experience in higher education,¹ to medical school. For further contrast, EMT salaries average less than $60,000/yr,^2,3 while the standard medical school class comprises mostly white students from the top quintile of wealthy U.S. families.^4,5 This was a complete turn-around from what I used to and changed how I interacted with my environment. Suddenly my experiences weren’t relatable. My political and social values weren’t standard practice. I felt like I was on an island.

Time helped. I found friends and settled into the medical student journey, but I also began to experience dissonance (like the anatomy locker room flashback). It bothered me. I had left the road; reasonably, I thought I was safe from feelings the effects of it. The opposite is likely true. Analyses across first responder networks have found that leaving the field leads to doubled rates of PTSD and tripled rates of depression.⁶ The reasons vary, but one thread is common: social support networks amongst peers are the strongest protective factors against mental health issues in first responders.^7,8 The shared experiences, similar outlooks, and camaraderie developed in the field are invaluable. This is exactly what I lost when I arrived at school.

Yet my job as an EMT prepared me for medical school more than I expected. I already understood how to collect a thorough patient history, perform physical exams, and make clinical decisions. I knew how to speak to people, handle intense situations, and relate to patients with whom I may share very little in common. Although it can be frustrating to take a backseat role after being an independent professional, I ultimately felt comfortable transitioning to a higher clinical responsibility. That’s something not every new medical student can say.

So, if you’re reading this as a fellow first responder considering medical school, or reflecting on your experience so far, just know you are not alone. The transition is hard and it will test you emotionally, but you have the tools to succeed. Stay honest, find support, and keep working toward your goals.

References

1. Rivard MK, Cash RE, Mercer CB, Chrzan K, Panchal AR. Demography of the National Emergency Medical Services Workforce: A Description of Those Providing Patient Care in the Prehospital Setting. Prehosp Emerg Care. 2021;25(2):213-220.
2. U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. (2024a, April 3). Emergency medical technicians. U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. https://www.bls.gov/oes/2023/may/oes292042.htm.
3. U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. (2024, April 3). Paramedics. U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. https://www.bls.gov/oes/2023/may/oes292043.htm.
4. Lett E, Murdock HM, Orji WU, Aysola J, Sebro R. Trends in Racial/Ethnic Representation Among US Medical Students. JAMA Netw Open. 2019;2(9):e1910490.
5. Shahriar AA, Puram VV, Miller JM, et al. Socioeconomic Diversity of the Matriculating US Medical Student Body by Race, Ethnicity, and Sex, 2017-2019. JAMA Netw Open. 2022;5(3):e222621.
6. Harvey SB, Milligan-Saville JS, Paterson HM, Harkness EL, Marsh AM, Dobson M, Kemp R, Bryant RA. The mental health of fire-fighters: An examination of the impact of repeated trauma exposure. Aust N Z J Psychiatry. 2016;50(7):649-58.
7. Bevan MP, Priest SJ, Plume RC, Wilson EE. Emergency First Responders and Professional Wellbeing: A Qualitative Systematic Review. Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2022;19(22):14649.
8. Kyron MJ, Rees CS, Lawrence D, Carleton RN, McEvoy PM. Prospective risk and protective factors for psychopathology and wellbeing in civilian emergency services personnel: a systematic review. J Affect Disord. 2021;281:517-532.